I’m sorry Bob, but this is not working out the way I had hoped it would. I need you to start packing.

I know, Bob. I made a lavish promise that I hoped our love affair would last. But let’s face it–for such a new model, you cannot hold a candle to Rando with a vacuum even when he has done it no more than twice in 39 years. I mean first, you ran out of juice after only a couple of wobbly passes, even though you said you had a full charge. Then for no apparent reason, you just stop charging yourself with only half a charge. That is like magical thinking, Bob, and normally we outgrow that by age 7 or 8.

My tech geek called for support, and they suggested you might have a faulty charger OR a faulty battery, so they shipped both replacements. Now while you were able to sit still long enough for a decent charge, after roaming in a couple of circles like playing hide-and-seek in a blindfold, you still just shut yourself off and went home and refused to charge again. Tech geek said in his educated opinion you had a faulty capacitor and could not carry the load, thus, when you got hot, you shut yourself down. (And when it comes to computers, robots, and other highly complex electric circuitry, he is always right, which is a good thing even if sometimes slightly annoying to be reminded of it).

I will give you credit Bob, and I thank you for choosing that option rather than setting yourself on fire. But please understand where I am coming from here when I say this relationship is not working out. We did our due diligence homework before picking you, and based on consumer reports, you would best meet our needs…which might have been true if you had not had faulty something-or-others.

We have had two Dysons. The the last time, we went with a Shark, because frankly, while I also “think things should just work properly”, Dyson was getting a little uppity with the price tag while the second model was no where close to the quality of the first and did not last near as long nor clean near as well. We opted for the Shark, and believe me, while normally I do not cavort with a shark, this Shark is top notch in my opinion and very cavortable. Tech geek discovered Shark also has a robot vacuum and it will empty himself into his own little trash bin!

So, Bob, you get to go wherever it is that bad Bobs have to go. In all due respect, I will indeed wipe the doggie hair off and send you back with a shine, just to show there are no hard feelings.

To anyone who might be thinking of buying a robot vacuum, I recommend you wait for the Shark review first. As you know, sometimes, things just are not as they have been made out to be. For now, Bob gets a one-way ticket, and Sharkbot gets a home visit.