Intriguing thought, isn’t it? What is a cracked vase, and its symbolism? How does it last? And why? In January of 2018, I found a book quite by accident just after I returned home from spending 3 weeks with Mother. Dad died near the end of November 2017, and it was a time of considerable difficulty as we determined what would be best. The book was Meditations from the Mat: Daily Reflections on the Path of Yoga, by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison. I do not practice yoga but the meditations engaged me. The book recommended to read just one meditation a day. I was so entranced with the perfection of how this book was speaking to me that I wanted to disregard that recommendation and keep reading, but I held back and decided to try it. I recorded the date alongside the title of each meditation of Day 1, Day 2, etc. I would make notes about how I understood it and could apply it. At first, I read daily. Then the semester wore on, the work got doubled and tripled as I was teaching, serving as interim department chair, doing my regular program director job, and trying to manage the rest of my life and caregiving in Texas while living in Mississippi.
First, I would lapse for a day or two…then it became three or four…and then two weeks…and another two weeks. Then one night, I picked up the book and read “the cracked vase lasts.”
That was the last sentence I wrote in the post I had intended for fall of 2018. I found it yesterday while doing some clean up work. I originally read that meditation on day 46 when I was faithfully following the process, April 22, 2018. I had written in the margin:
Thank you…no, I do not deserve the injuries, but I do deserve the opportunity to pay attention and to heal, if I do the work.
It seems as if I had just randomly opened the book to that page. Each meditation began with a short quote–always a unique source. This one was Anonymous. I cannot recall now why “the cracked vase lasts” would have meant something at the time in what was undeniably the most difficult and stressful semester of my life of teaching–only to be uncompleted. That may be my answer.